When you were a kid you probably thought anything was possible, that you could be anyone or do anything. If you were like me you probably thought being a grown up was all about banging broads, experimenting with new kinds of drug cocktails, drinking double scotches all day (well not drinking so much as sipping slowly with a cigarette in hand), dressing up in suits all day, and of course banging broads… like a boss.
Some of ended up living like that for a while (until you burn out and can’t move for a couple days and the smell of whiskey makes you want to vomit). However real life ends up catching up with us and the way we want to live ends up being deterred by a pesky thing called real life and usually a long term relationship, kids, work, and whatever else stops you from having a good day.
Now that doesn’t mean we can’t watch the ballers on TV live like badasses.
Now for the Top 5 Guys On TV We All Wanted To Be when We Grow Up
5. Don Draper
TV Show- Mad Men
As an Ad Man in the ’60s Don Draper knows how to live the life. Constantly drinking whiskeys and cocktails, the man not only knows how to do business better Donald Trump and bang broads without his wife knowing he also knows how to do it drunk. Who didn’t want to be like Don Draper growing up up? He not only wears Brook Brothers and Banana Republic, he also always keeps a fresh change of clothes in his suitcase just in case he gets into a drunken fight or hadn’t made it home that night.
4. Chuck Bass
TV Show- Gossip Girl
Now those of you who know him might think he’s the most spoiled rich kid on the face of the planet. Now while this may be true, you have to admit who doesn’t want to be a spoiled rich kid? With all this money what does he do with it? Same thing every other baller does with it, he puts himself in a penthouse suite of an upstate Manhattan hotel so he can literally say ‘tell your girls you leavin’ I meet you in the lobby’ (quote from the song Hot Toddy by Usher). He drinks whiskey straight sleeps with anything from a high class escort to a world famous model, what’s there not to like?
3. Hank Moody
TV Show- Californication
I’m going to be honest with you guys, I have a special bias towards writers who drink Jack Daniels by the bottle (BY THE FUCKING BOTTLE!!!). I mean come on! The guy drinks more than a Newfoundlander during a wake while sleeping with famous actresses and still finds time to write books. What else could a guy ask for?
2. Barney Stinson
TV Show- How I Met Your Mother
Could there possibly any other person you would be if you could be anyone? This guy is the definition of awesome . He sleeps with more girls than you could imagine. What’s really great about this character is he’s not one of those characters that’s just good with women, hes one of those characters that works on it every day of the week and twice on Sunday (What else is there to do on a Sunday?).
1. Neil Caffery
TV Show- White Collar
Now I don’t watch a TV especially not criminal investigation shows, but White Collar I watch and for one reason and one reason only… Neil Caffery. A Con Man who does the wrong thing for the right reason. He teaches you that it’s not always about banging hoes and drinking whiskey. This guy drinks wine (seriously WINE!) and not the cheap kind you get at Costco, he drinks the kind with the fancy names and the even fancier prices. He always finds a way to dress and live well, even when he’s a convicted felon with no income.